Thursday, January 22, 2004

 

i admit defeat. i guess everyone at some point or other in life would suddenly realise that they cannot control life. i took a bit the long. but anyway i admit now, it's beyond my means. i cannot influence people in the direction that i believe in, no matter what i mean to them. i cannot choose the people that cross my paths and pick on those who i deem needs some serious work on their attitutes.

i'm powerless. i cannot do a thing for my men, and i do not even have men to start with. i can study for nuts but still not be able to help my friends who struggle with their studies, who actually showed the desire to set things right. what good is a person like that, unable to help anyone, instead simply locks himself within his own world. selfish.

sometimes i really want to take a vacation from being myself. but i guess i have to be here 24/7, be the clown that flashes thru the lives of others unfortunate enough to know me.

Zhengyu wrote at 12:54 AM.