Sunday, April 24, 2005

 

ast reminds me of olden days. if you're reading this, here's my jc story.

i didnt run for committee. i was pretty much conscripted. so i got in as bass sl, but i really didnt know enough to be an sl. thankfully i had lester, which was sometimes not exactly pleasant to work with, and also victor, ser bee, and all the others who guided me along.

i was in name the sl. however i was actually doing other nonsense stuff. mostly administrative and book keeping sort. i did the library. i tried to source for potential scores (too little success). i took the charity project in 2001. i tried to run the 02 orientation in the background. halfway through that last one i was dug out by my chorale mistress, who stripped me of most of my access rights. at that point in time (and for a good long time thereafter) i was quite a broken man. not to mention other social problems i had.

why did it happen. i guess in a way i was quite upset that the top level wasnt doing very much for the chorale. there were those who did their share dutifully, and those that could have been more. when we were still j1s they were like hopping and happening, yet after appointment everything changed. (i guess i ought to expect that sort of thing in a marriage too huh.) so it was, the mid-bottom layer took over management and running of the chorale. I believed, very sincerely, that the show must go on, even if the leadership is not quite active. my teacher still disagrees with me on this.

suddenly people were concerned more about getting 's' papers right. people were struggling with their studies (i took only one s paper. this decision, to be honest, was linked to chorale) people were too busy for the chorale. people had no time for meetings. people had no time to supervise preparation, much less be involved themselves. people accepted what is to be the norm. someone must have kidnapped all our dreams and ideals that were overcrowding our heads back then.

in the j2 concert i was given a solo part. not by choice. well, given the circumstance (i was already a broken man) i sung my heart out for that one. some of my friends didnt know, but when i sang it i really could feel my heart ache. given a chance to perform, taking a very serious shot at it, thought i was doing well but people dun agree, and finally losing everything i built. somehow it matched the mood of the song.

this is why i dun go back to chorale like i do for rv. (the most recent visits are credited to sicheng) but i guess everyone has to grow up and realise that the past is behind us.

Zhengyu wrote at 11:18 PM.