Friday, June 04, 2010

 

i am of the opinion that when a relationship sours, and the other party would not like to commit anymore, then we should just pull out. why? with some reasons ba. as charm says, i do still largely think logically.

love is a mutual commitment. it is not something we feel for a person by looking for it in ourselves. it is not something we can grow or cultivate in our partner through endless pouring of our soul into the relationship. i could wait for you forever and you may indeed never commit. in the same way, you might really search forever and not find what you are looking for.

when one side is no longer committed, love becomes weary. while it might have been reinforced or grew from the reciprocated actions and thought, when one side no longer puts in anything, the other person rapidly drains him or herself of what is usually given. love becomes a drug. we cannot really control the kind of thought we give, the kind of effort we put in, and we continue to do so, draining ourselves, losing ourselves. it just is the case until we can see that there is nothing left in it and we need to just move on from this relationship.

I personally believe that everyone will identify, eventually, their place. in which they will be happy, fulfilled. their partner, who can give them what they need. I guess not every pair will be a mutual fit. you may be looking for someone else while i am looking at you. so maybe we can all afford to consider alternatives. a fair fit somewhere would be fine, as long as it can be mutual. at some point i concluded, there might never be a perfect mutual fit.

and all these rational deliberation is but a defence mechanism. what do you do when you are caught in a fire? you either put it out or you escape, maybe save one or two peeps along the way. what do you do when you are heartbroken? either mend it or get out of harm's way. staying on may not exactly be the best way. emotions may eat away what's left of the soul and optimism and hope. i dun want to let emotions take over, for this reason. i dun want to let things spiral out of control just because i cannot conquer my own emotions. just as you wouldnt let yourself breakdown during a failing event, i wouldnt let myself breakdown until the loose ends are all tied. for that matter, i wouldnt let myself breakdown, simply because it's within controllable means. why get emotional? perhaps this is just not meant to be.

Zhengyu wrote at 12:51 AM.