Monday, October 28, 2002

 

was stoning while watching scrubs. then the classic question came to mind. what do we live for?
i dun think people live to study chem. i can imagine people gathering wealth to make a comfortable living, that's not too hard to see. but what do these people live for? to make more money? isnt it because they are living that they want to have wealth to go with it? so this reasoning doesnt lead anywhere past the mailbox. so maybe they're living for themselves. but isnt that just playing along since they're living anyway? so if all these is contradictary, i conclude people cannot live for themselves. well actually they can, but they'll turn out a leetle screwed up. so what do we live for then, if it's not ourselves. i used to live for some people, now i dunno. perhaps i can only try to repay some people in my lifetime.

Zhengyu wrote at 11:43 PM.

 

read this somewhere. "...i'll never fall in love again..." interesting.
was rethinking about my religion. buddhism does have alot of things worth thinking about. but i guess i like it better as the taoist i am. why not? i think i've learnt much more having thought about things and not told directly. i wun learn from an elder giving me good advice. i wun learn from mistakes either. but i slowly shape my character from what i conclude is right for me. makes sense. how many times did people tell me to do things sensibly? how many times did i follow my stupid heart instead? but i still feel it's right. why not? why be someone you are not? please dun tell me you do it for someone else. we are all different. respect yourself and live your life the way it you would. no point having an utopia where everyone makes the same decisions as everyone else.
but of course, try not to hurt anyone in the process. defend yourself when you are threatened. but that doesnt mean you can hurt someone else.

Zhengyu wrote at 10:12 PM.

Sunday, October 27, 2002

 

hum hum. suddenly wonder how do basses stand doing the same thing over and over again for about 50 cycles over approximately 3 minutes. dun they get bored? i think i asked the same question to my seniors before, when i think i was still a tenor. or sop, whichever. after i dropped to the rank of rubbish, people asked me the same question. at that time i believed that basses need alot of psychological will to go on. it's true. i acted cool only because i felt i needed a certain amount of attention, but at the same time not too much. the bass mentality? but we do get tired. i cannot take it when the group screws up, not so much on the stage but more so behind the stage. but at the same time when you also firmly believe you're the most sane person around, you tend to screw up alot. acting cool doesnt help half as much as having friends like jc. which makes me more balanced than the damn obvious soloists, the very nervous upper harmony, the self-proclaimed-unimportant lower harmony, the expected-to-excel percussionists, as well as the everybody-loves-him leader. so i am sane after all. relatively.

Zhengyu wrote at 10:10 PM.

Friday, October 25, 2002

 

haha... recently not very hardworking hor. never study some more. sigh. but think too much liao. juncai proposed another bet. i think he may win, but it makes no difference, because sooner or later i have to acknowledge the fact that they're both replacements. replacements. have you watched the replacement killers? no, nothing to do with this. why am i still looking? i suppose i need to settle down on something, and since i learnt how far i can go i cannot be satisfied by merely a life of flowering...

Zhengyu wrote at 9:02 PM.

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

 

hm. still looking at uni stuff. jon ng got the interview for oxford... way cool. me still at the stage of filling up the psc stuff. hoping very hard that i can get that scholarship man... but hoping so much that i'm not studying sheesh.

Zhengyu wrote at 8:46 PM.

Friday, October 11, 2002

 

haha interesting... started this account under chun ghee's advice... we shall see how it goes. me supposed to be studying now / reading my storybook so i wun type too much for now. hee hee.

Zhengyu wrote at 9:56 PM.