Saturday, December 10, 2005

 

17-18 years old was the kind of time that was difficult to get by. i got down to clearing the final document tray (and i believe i have finally recovered most if not all of my jc notes. the stack of papers presently stand at a proud height of 22cm)

i also sorted through some mails from my shumin and jolin. as well as some mails i wrote that i never sent (i have this habit. it's difficult to tell someone something, so i write it down. then it becomes difficult to pass that person what i've wrote. stoopid. and things like this happen, seeing the mail again three years later, still unsent.) there was one for jing2 in chinese which i had to personally destroy in case my mum sorts through the rubbish like what she does with my earlier piles of rubbish. it was, in essence a rather melancholic letter, just thanking her for being around. might have gotten my mum worried. there was another one for the guys, even more depressed than this one, which was in english in silver on black (i had an obsession with matching paper and pen colours, largely in the direction of blue-black-silver)

luckily i think i am much happier today, although somethings remains regrettable. having been unable to put down somethings three years ago now becomes more hindering than the things themselves. i think i can start afresh. and i have somewhat been doing it, less certain portions (which well maybe i can patch up soon) sometimes i look on the streets and wonder whether the kids these days would appreciate it if they ever knew about what their seniors have gone through? i dun think i would appreciate it, probably even dismiss it as some boring-cum-compulsory school talk of sorts. maybe i have to learn it the hard way. =)

Zhengyu wrote at 10:47 AM.