Sunday, March 30, 2008

 

nothing productive done today. woke up too late to go to eusoff workshop. didnt do any admin before going for choir, then went out with jc bx and matt. then come home. supposed to wake up at 5 and yet until now nothing substantial done.

came here mainly to say that i in particular do not appreciate people who can criticise others without thinking through whether they could really have done any better themselves. i hope that my friend do not learn from the wrong influence around her. perhaps what i say is rash, but i really do mean it: dun talk big if you dun know better. for her: dun be influenced by those who think they know better when they really know nuts. you have seen the picture so think back to the system's constraints and work out a constructive suggestion, if you really see a reason to change things.

Zhengyu wrote at 2:28 AM.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

 

seems that good things come when i am gone.

good good.

Zhengyu wrote at 2:47 AM.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

 

extremely disorganised at the moment. negative aura still there. so i should stay away.

Zhengyu wrote at 1:34 PM.

Friday, March 21, 2008

 

blog. sometimes i come here just to get away from it all for a while. to vent my thoughts and whatnots. to record what i felt (although it's typically under heavy censorship)

this is a weird season. i want to work on crc but there's no space left. so much for not doing it earlier. mab is finishing real soon, so that will be a small relief. float is stepping up, as is alumni committee. yep is supposed to step up but i'm holding them back due to my lack of contribution. pubs going into last phrase and i changed monitoring system yet again. reso is stepping up but no one is putting pressure on me just yet. thankfully.

i still havent settled the pm issue.

Zhengyu wrote at 2:15 AM.

 

 

cd cover sample

Zhengyu wrote at 12:40 AM.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

 

i briefly recall typing the 500th blog some time ago. looks like i don't really blog as little as i imagine to.

thinking about plans for next year. i guess i like to have something to look forward to. or make that like to find something in the future so that i can look forward to the future, which is sort of inevitable anyway. supposed to be memorising scores but hm... sigh. screwed up schedules later, so will have a mad rush and might even affect rocke recruitment... but i already settled with reso side so i think this time round have to compromise le.

I was originally thinking of making up for my mistake earlier this year, but seems that i am not required to commit, which is probably an even better situation. i get to help here and there but i dun have to commit (recall mr foo's comment on my relevance) i get to commit somewhat more on the honours project. i perhaps might commit to something advisory on the external side... i might also not have personally conduct, then i can just give pointers (finally) it's sort of crazy that you set up an admin comm only to see that it ends up assisting you somewhat. i just want to coach and no more, but that's such a dream, i dunno if it'll ever come through. and it's not like i'm such a great coach, esp ca conducting. then that leaves me with two specific comms that i would like to join. oops. three. (er. is it a trend that seniors get more nosey as they get older?) three specific senior comms.

I would like to finish the job that we started about a semester ago. it is only right that this job is done, for it has been far too long since people bothered. we must not end up like our predescessors who fell just short of implementation. for the sake of the hall let us please finish our job.

on a totally egoistic point of view, i just want to say to someone, "i really dun think you are eligible to compare how busy other people are" ok. shall leave it as that.

Zhengyu wrote at 12:00 PM.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

 

recruitment day one. very seh. rocke has taken about 30 persons altogether, looking for another 70 or so. i'm lacking in a few specific departments, and hopefully the next two days will be different and solve these cases.

very tired. brain not working. with the inclusion of the a cappella points, my hall points should be hitting 110.5. plus 50% from last year's 80, that should give 150.5. wonder what that means. supposedly i am not very busy, but i really dun think i can agree, although i am effectively doing zero studying. i'm year 3, for goodness sake. and i've been through a couple of years of management to say that i may be right on a few statements at least.

comms are rushing, homework are rushing, but i have no brain left for you...

Zhengyu wrote at 2:18 AM.

Monday, March 10, 2008

 

4am. a cat was hanging around outside my room as i was finishing up the noodles. thankfully shu hui took care of it. i dunno why i'm still awake. i am supposed to be reading the senior lab reports before my lab session tmr i guess. but i'm typing here instead. today has been extremely unproductive. plus somehow when i was outside the dining hall i just couldnt resist the temptation and i laid down on the sofa. damn tired. not that i have done alot of work somehow nor have slept too little, but i just feel tired physically.

the talk with shu hui reminded me of how much we tend to forget about others. i'm thankful i made that move, now at least i have a chance to right my wrongs. jiayou to her too =)

Zhengyu wrote at 3:58 AM.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

 

5.15am. hours after mab meeting ended. long, gruesome. i reviewed my stand over the matter. seems like i have low ability to find a balance in moderation. i cant be objective enough in that sense. i am either for you, or against you. but right now, i'm choosing to be against you, not exactly because i am against you per se, but i have not learnt how to be for you and still come to terms with myself. and i have decided to come to terms with myself. so the only reasonable conclusion, risking the fallacy of a false dilemma, would be to take this current stand. at least that is until i realise how to reach the middle.

disrupted by admin work and lost my train of thought. ah well.

Zhengyu wrote at 5:17 AM.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

 

thought at 8.30am.

expectation is the beginning of my downfall. everytime i come to expect things, i become too dependent on them materialising. in my mind i may even have imagined that the thing has in fact already materialised. this awkward contradiction of reality has apparently not yet been grasped by my tiny brain. in that sense, i live in my own fantasy.

if they do not materialise, i fall apart. i need to overcome this. i need to face reality.

Zhengyu wrote at 8:31 AM.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

 

non sequitur calculation. i earn an average of 43 hall points per academic year.

that's actually quite little. if you just join hall play and float every year, you'll have close to that number.

Zhengyu wrote at 2:17 AM.

Monday, March 03, 2008

 

 

Come for Dinner and Dance!

Zhengyu wrote at 6:32 PM.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

 

before you choose to go, take a good look at those you are leaving behind.
are you leaving them to struggle on on their own?
are you leaving them to denounce what you do not believe in?

and then now think of the alternative. who are you staying with, and why?

Zhengyu wrote at 7:22 PM.