Tuesday, September 29, 2009

 

emo-ed last night but didnt type it in. actually it started from the day before.

i had a cold of sorts so i wore my ke jacket. and then it was warmer and more bearable. my nose didnt run so badly. and then i remembered how she was almost always wearing the jacket. i'll fast forward the details since they're a bore. at the end, i need to not have such a contradiction in my head to live on, and i think she can do with one less troublemaker. maybe what i say is really quite different from how i feel. but things as they are, slowly drifting apart, is probably the best of outcomes.

end of the day, as i said before, it doesnt matter who i am, what i do, or even what i want. there are paths laid down for each of us. even when they meet, you cant tell when they'll split again. because we need to learn to think for one another. because by waiting for a life time, i'll probably accumulate enough to thrash a school with a semi automatic weapon. or maybe that's how it is with all those cases.

it'll be nice to not have you keep popping up on msn sign in notification. that would be more consistent with us not talking.

Zhengyu wrote at 12:25 PM.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

 

stoning. video converting. not really doing work. not learning scores.
brain dead. maybe the heart too.
went home to get letter. i'll hate saf for a while for making me do this.
nothing much done. wanna read book.

Zhengyu wrote at 1:12 AM.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

 

i am so not prepared for tmr's workshop. zomg.
someone list out the lesson plan pls. now. and the other things as well.

Zhengyu wrote at 2:24 AM.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

 

sunday morning. refreshed but not motivated to work. before you know it, an hour has passed.

jiatlat.

Zhengyu wrote at 9:46 AM.

Friday, September 18, 2009

 

finally finishing videos. i fell asleep last night between 3am and 8.30am on 3 counts.
Someone remind me why i do these things.

and i want a new hard disk for the video editing jobs... something like 1TB would be good XD

Zhengyu wrote at 1:24 PM.

 

3.45am. the timings are not progressively getting later... i somehow just feel like blogging on those nights that i stay up for.

working on reso videos. earlier today had gesl-rfy course-aca prac-supper with kit and shu hui chain combo. the counter is ticking down. 6.58gb.

late nights are emo nights. i question my belonging, my existence, my purpose, my life. i wonder why i never mattered. i look at things that i work for, and think i'm probably just being too stupid and free of charge.

the mind is poisoned... unable to react to anything else. i dun really care a damn for qlk at the moment but i have to attend it later.

Zhengyu wrote at 3:41 AM.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

 

3am.

you know, these late night periods of staying awake can really get emo somtimes.

i took 3 taxis today. charmy told me to rest early after the 2nd trip. the 3rd trip was exceptionally long. my phone almost hit zero batt so i didnt dare to message her too much either. and i couldnt get cheryl to check on the firewire. and daixuan started sending weird sms-es.

today was a long day.

after charmy got off, the taxi uncle asked, turn left or right. i said left. he turned right. i kept quiet until he got us out of the estate. actually i kept quiet from then on.

outside the kopitiam, i saw 3 cabs flagged down at the bus stop 50m in front of me.

i had to wake my father up to search for the firewire in the study room. i dunno what he'll have to say knowing that i left again.

sometimes life is something that really frustrates me. and all those memories only serve to drain me of whatever spirit that remains.

Zhengyu wrote at 3:12 AM.

Monday, September 14, 2009

 

2am on a monday morning. i have driving lesson no.2 later. i have discussion on test paper setting but i havent really thought up anything for that. i have ict essay due on tuesday.

2am. on the way back from prac at wailun's place in forsaken land, i recalled the times that i did bother to put in effort. after years of struggle. after tons of effort. and in the end, it was just that simple body sign. and then nothing else really mattered anymore because everything has just became out of context.

why did i bother.

and now i dun feel like trying so hard. heck maybe i wun try at all. let's try to make the world a slightly nicer place and just forget this part about making your own life complete.

Zhengyu wrote at 2:01 AM.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

 

sunday morning at home. going out to meet jiahui later, then prac, then prac, then return to hall. my bag is exploding with equipment, i wonder how i'm going to walk around later. ah well, it's a lunch meetup anyway.

life struggles by. but yesterday's prac was fun. like csl says, it's refreshing, somehow. too bad only 4 of us were there =|

Zhengyu wrote at 9:58 AM.