Monday, August 30, 2010

 

the frequency of blogs is inversely related to general mood and stuff like that. we are at the stage of looking over our shoulder and wonder, what was it that kept things together for that short few months? on hindsight, it is rather difficult to imagine. i recall frequent meetings. those were arguably not feasible. look at now. we are going to run into excess of two weeks. maybe 3. i lost count. it doesnt matter anyway, we don't have a dying need to meet. I don't. I suppose you don't either. it's a bit like the frequency of me going home when i stayed in hall. a little of it.

and the previous topic of priorities. well. it doesnt seem so possible now on hindsight, does it? i dun really what i did. i suppose it was both ways, we probably both gave more than we were prepared for. and it couldnt last. or it just didnt, somehow. maybe i can blame the course. maybe i should blame my burnt weekends. maybe. pointing everywhere else but myself. does it really change anything when i can put the blame in someone else's court? no. not really. it didnt work, and that's all that really matters. maybe it's relief. i wonder. and at the same time i don't know what i am holding on to, in everything i do. why do i sing so much. why do i not stay home? why do i buy a game excitedly and leave it on the table for weeks in a row? why do i not remember having dinner with family? what have i sacrificed, and what are they for? my lecturer talked about work life balance, that we should be careful not to cross the line. am i there yet? or is my threshold just really low?

Zhengyu wrote at 3:34 PM.